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Benne
Don't play with matches either.
June 03, 2004 at 02:55PM View BBCode
A big thanks for that wonderful gem of wisdom.Don't play with matches either.
Benne
June 03, 2004 at 02:57PM View formatted
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Anything to improve the lives of American citizens.
thejoe914
June 03, 2004 at 03:06PM View BBCode
and combined of the two............. dont stare at matches!
Duff77
Smokey the Natural Selection Bear says: Only you can prevent horrible miscarriages of evolution.
June 03, 2004 at 03:21PM View BBCode
Actually, if you're dumb enough to stare at the sun, please do play with matches. But remember! Only when you're playing with lighter fluid!Smokey the Natural Selection Bear says: Only you can prevent horrible miscarriages of evolution.
happy
how you can make it ok to stare into the sun: :cool:
put your glasses down your you will never be able to see you stupid dumb ass: :cool2:
In Warcraft 2, they had a whole bunch of tips for the game, like 50 or so, and the 3 most important ones were: Dont spit into the wind, Dont pet a burning dog, and Change your underwear daily.
June 03, 2004 at 04:25PM View BBCode
lolhow you can make it ok to stare into the sun: :cool:
put your glasses down your you will never be able to see you stupid dumb ass: :cool2:
In Warcraft 2, they had a whole bunch of tips for the game, like 50 or so, and the 3 most important ones were: Dont spit into the wind, Dont pet a burning dog, and Change your underwear daily.
Unclescam777
We save too many lives anyway. Nature has a way of killing of the weak and moronic, yet humans fight with nature everyday by saving the lives of idiots. Stop fighting with nature! If a child watches Jackass and decides to jump off a building leave him there to die for being so stupid.
June 03, 2004 at 04:56PM View BBCode
The kid who eats too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own --> Natural selectionWe save too many lives anyway. Nature has a way of killing of the weak and moronic, yet humans fight with nature everyday by saving the lives of idiots. Stop fighting with nature! If a child watches Jackass and decides to jump off a building leave him there to die for being so stupid.
whiskybear
Don't stare at the sun while running with scissors made of burning matchsticks and gasoline.
June 03, 2004 at 05:47PM View BBCode
Your advice is good, but MY mom always told me:Don't stare at the sun while running with scissors made of burning matchsticks and gasoline.
Ignite
And My Mom Told Me:
Dont Ever Run With A Gun Nor Grenade, While Staring At Other Peoples, And While Playing SimD
June 03, 2004 at 05:57PM View BBCode
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:And My Mom Told Me:
Dont Ever Run With A Gun Nor Grenade, While Staring At Other Peoples, And While Playing SimD
Duff77
[Edited on 6-3-2004 by Duff77]
June 03, 2004 at 06:19PM View BBCode
I detect the bitter meanderings of George Carlin in scam's latest post. :)[Edited on 6-3-2004 by Duff77]
Unclescam777
June 03, 2004 at 06:50PM View BBCode
:lol: yay for Duff! He recognized my Carlin quote. Good for you. My favorite Carlin bit is his Fuck the Children from You are all diseased. That's 5 minutes of bliss right there
Duff77
June 03, 2004 at 06:54PM View BBCode
Also one of my faves. The one about germs is almost as good... And the opener...the one about airport security...eerily dead on. I popped that into the tape player in like October of 2001 and was just creeped out at how damn dead-on he was.
Unclescam777
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the f*** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually
God Bless Mr. Conductor!
June 03, 2004 at 07:04PM View BBCode
Things I Hate About Everyone1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the f*** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually
God Bless Mr. Conductor!
Benne
June 03, 2004 at 07:18PM View BBCode
I saw this funny t-shirt that on the front says "There are two people f****** on the back of my shirt". On the back it says "Just kidding. Believe in Jesus." Very funny.
nextyearcubs
[url=http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor7.shtml]Carlin on baseball/football[/url]
June 03, 2004 at 08:15PM View BBCode
Speaking of Carlin, I coulndn't help but post this... I like this one alot also...[url=http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor7.shtml]Carlin on baseball/football[/url]
Unclescam777
June 03, 2004 at 08:27PM View BBCode
Yeah that was back when Carlin was calm. Watch some of his old specials then watch a newer one. Man, he got really hyper over the years
skierdude44
June 03, 2004 at 08:36PM View BBCode
Haha. Carlin is great. I heard that when they first started MNF they wanted him up in the booth but he declined. It would be hilarious to have Carlin up there doing commentary. They would probably have to censor alot of things but it would be funny. If you could see it uncensored it would be great.
skierdude44
June 03, 2004 at 08:41PM View BBCode
Dennis Miller is a piece of crap. Carlin could wipe the floor with him. I dont find Miller funny at all. Carlin is just hilarious. I love the skit he does about airline anouncements. The Ten Commandments skit is hilarious also.
Duff77
June 03, 2004 at 08:49PM View BBCode
Dennis Miller's stand up is hillarious. I lost my Dennis Miller tape years ago, but it was some of the funniest no-holds barred stand up ever. Everything else he ever did was esoteric and crappy.Pages: 1 2